Another Semester Down

I just finished another semester. This was probably the toughest, most depressing of them all. My fellow classmates agree with me on that observation by the way. This one was hard because we are nearing the end of our course work, the classes offered this semester were, ummm, dreadfully uninteresting to any of us, and most of us took classes taught by new professors. Needless to say, we are all burnt out and ready to jump ship.

I would love to get out of here, or at least move to part-time, but I just don't know if it will happen. I keep hoping I'll get a call one day and someone will offer me a decent paying job that appeals to me. I'm not holding my breath.

Thanks to all who prayed for me this semester. Unfortunately, the job is not yet done. I need a solid dissertation topic by next semester (probably early March or so) to continue to receiving funding from the university. Honestly, at this moment, I would take almost anything as long as it gets me a degree. That, or I'll just hope Jesus comes back in the next 3 months.

Also, please be praying for what I do next. Even though I am probably 2 years from graduation, some of the jobs I want may take a good year to get through the application process. When and where do I apply? What about my wife's job? What about the fact that we are not the richest people in America and moving or time without both of our incomes would be devastating? There are lots of questions to be answered. I just pray that I rely on God and not my own hopes and dreams.

Ephesians 6 and a Simple Prayer

I finished reading Ephesians today. The Armor of God is probably the most famous part of Ephesians chapter 6, but the message about the slave and the master was most striking to me today.

God tells slaves to respect their masters and to work hard and enthusiastically for them. As you can imagine, I'm almost certain that this was difficult. God tells slaves to work for their master as if they were working for Christ. Can you imagine being a slave and wanting to do that? I can't. A lot of times these verses are applied to the employee-employer relationship. That is what got to me today.

I am FAAAAAAAAAAAAR from enthusiastic about school. I certainly do not work as if Christ was my boss. I'm a bit of a rabble-rouser; always have been. I'm not vitriolic in these actions. I just can't stand inefficiency and bureaucracy. When you are working on a Ph.D. at a state university, you are burdened with both of these. As you might could imagine, I voice my opinion when things don't go like they should. Here, things rarely go as they should and everyone knows it, so it isn't like I am the outcast.

Anyways, I really have to work on this. I often pray that I will enter school with a good attitude. It is difficult. Not only am I one of two professing Christians in the program, but the stress levels are high amongst students and faculty, and many of the problems are endemic. How does one survive in such an environment without becoming bitter?

Getting over this bitterness is probably one of the best ways to show people that a relationship with Christ changes people. If I can show students and faculty that I am always joyful, then perhaps they will wonder what makes me different. That is the kind of message I need to be sending. Ephesians 4:31 tells us to "Get rid of all bitterness." Please pray that I can do this.

Where Am I?

It's been a while, I know. Things have been kinda crazy around here. My wife got sick (feeling much better now), I hurt my back working out (still not quite 100%, but close), school got busy, and my wife has been working on some sewing projects at her mother's business.

All of these things have led to a lack of blogging, and quite honestly, a lack of spending time with God. It's amazing how much I depend on routine. I really need to work on that.

Anyways, . . . I will just go ahead and throw this out there, my wife and I need prayer. We are kinda clueless at the moment. Last week my wife told me that she doesn't know what she is meant to do. She is currently a teacher at a private high school. She took that job as a way to make a living while in college, not as a career. I'm a Ph.D. student in political science who is growing increasingly embittered with said area of studies. I don't know what I'm suppose to do either, I just know that it isn't political "science" research. For a long time I have questioned my purpose, but now that we both are clueless, it only adds to the enigma.

Also, my wife needs me to step up and be a better spiritual leader. This is something I have battled with. I am not confident in my knowledge or wisdom when it comes to spiritual matters. I am uncomfortable talking about such issues with people I know because I just don't feel that I measure up. That is one reason I started this blog. I yearn for the knowledge, and I find learning quite enjoyable. I just have trouble expressing my Biblical knowledge (or lack thereof) with others.

Back to jobs. I HAVE to have a job that makes a difference. I cannot handle doing irrelevant things. Honestly, since only God is relevant, I wonder if I should look into Christian organizations like Family Research Council or Focus on the Family, but I don't know what kind of job someone with a background in national security and conflict would be able to get at such an institute. And of course, going back to paragraph 2, I don't know how successful I would be at that.

So basically what I am telling y'all is that my wife and I are completely lost, wondering aimlessly through life at the moment. I'm 27, she's about to hit 26 and we are ready to find our niche. We just have no clue what it is or where it might be?

So, You Want To Get Your PhD?

So I've officially survived all of my classes at least once. The class I teach should be a breeze. The students seem to be very talkative and I like to think that I am a little more interesting than the average gray-haired, sweater vest-wearing professor. The classes I'm taking on the other hand . . . ugh. It is going to be a long semester. It isn't that the classes are difficult. It is that they are pointless. At this point in my PhD career these classes do nothing but waste time. The administration wants to get us through the program as quickly as possible, yet they drop massive amounts of pointless work on us. The bureaucracy around here is smothering and it's driving me insane. I, along with almost all of my colleagues, don't want to be here anymore. We want to be gone or done, . . . preferably both.

There was much more, but it was more of a rant about the fallacy of political science, which I'm sure no one cared to read.

Battle in the Basement

School has officially started. I can already tell it is going to be a battle. I want to be less irritable this year. That can be difficult in such a high-stress environment. I really want to be positive and loving to my students, classmates, and professors, but the mundaneness of some of the classes, the high level of bureaucracy and the general desire by some to cause and proliferate trouble makes it difficult for me to walk a straight line. This is going to be a trying year, but I am determined not to let it get to me. If I can muster up the courage, I even hope to mend a fence or two. Help me Lord!

Proverb of the Day: Proverbs 26:14
"As a door turns back and forth on its hinges, so the lazy person turns over in bed."